Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-birch asked “Oh Really? What did you teach?”This group is co...pliments of a Friend of J & G.A man dies ‘in the act’ after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large. I stopped and sat down to have a beer and put on some oil. The first beer always tastes the best and goes down the quickest. I started in on my second one and already started to feel a buzz. I didn't have anything else to eat yet today and it was having an effect on me.One of the reasons I like these Lycra shorts is that the fold away so well. I didn't figure I'd see anyone else down the beach so I stripped them off and put them in my beer tube where there was now space from my smashed, empty. Let's just be normal people for a while, OK? Go Christmas shopping, decorate the place, see a movie, visit an art gallery, stuff like that."Well, I recognized that "stuff like that" wasn't quite the agenda of "normal people," whose jobs didn't just fade into the woodwork come December; only normal rich people had that luxury. But I forbore from mentioning it.Because the truth was, I was feeling worn down after no more than a few weeks. Most jobs, the bulk of your time you can run on auto-pilot;. And by the time I’d stopped the cart, her backside was across my lap, her breasts were pushed against my chest, and her olive skinned face was buried so close against my neck I could smell her. Yes, it was ungainly, but there was skin contact everywhere and I jumped as if I’d been charged with an electric prod. Beside me, I felt Nicola’s body quivering like a startled doe’s. I looked into her gold and green eyes, and she surprised me by holding my gaze. ‘Wow, did you feel the charge?’ I.
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