“Hey, Caroline?”“Yeah, this is her.”“Hey, its me, your cousin. Jason. Listen, I went to the address my mom gave me but I’m not sure if its...the right place.”“Oh, where are you?”“Sandpiper Apartments?”“No, yeah. You’re in the right place.”“What apartment are you in?”“What?”“What’s your apartment number? I’m here with the truck.”“Oh, I’m not there right now. Sorry, I’m still on my way home from work. I’ll be there in like, 2 minutes.”“Oh, okay.”“It’s 902D, though.”“Okay, I’ll just wait. She lay her clawed hands on the iron bars, narrowing her eyes at him.“No, I just wanted you to turn around,” he replied. He lifted the plate, hocking it at the door, the vile concoction sailing through the air. The metal bowl clattered against the bars, ejecting its contents across the hallway outside, splattering the floor and the far wall. The alien had faster reflexes than any human, leaping clear as she loosed an angry hiss.“You little wretch!” she snarled, flexing her fingers as though she. Her husband, my uncle, had passed away. I collapsed there and then, unable to speak or do anything. He was my favourite uncle, always happy, always kind, and always encouraging. In short, he was my role model. I just couldn't believe it.But I had to believe it, and I would believe it, because later that week I found myself at his funeral, crying my eyes out. Then a few days later, I was in the notary's office, with all of his close friends and family, hearing his last will and testament read. .‘Big breaths, ‘ ... I instructed.‘Yes, they used to be, ‘ ... Replied the patient.Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.Not more than five minutes later, I heard herReporting to the rest of the family that he hadDied of a ‘massive internal fart.’Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been.
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