It came out as a groaning creak that barely sounded like language, let alone like himself. The two guards glanced back at him, then hurried forward. O...e knelt beside him. “Unconquered,” he said, his voice full of concern. Ember bristled at the honorific as his hand went to his aching jaw.“My wife just knocked me unconscious,” he said, slowly, working his jaw as he did so. “Ow. Fuck.” He started to try and stand. The two men gently pushed him back onto the bed.“Unconquered, we were given express. The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, ‘Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?’“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man... “Costs too much!”These are compliments of J & B.Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.3.. ”I don’t think I’d ever been that embarrassed. For the first time in my life, I had been caught masturbating. She looked to be about six foot tall, very athletic build and spoke with a strong East European accent. I tried to apologise.“No, that is okay. You want that I should do it for you?”“Do it for me?”“Yes, Kasia fix and make much better for you.”I really wasn’t sure what she meant, but before I knew it, she had put the towels on a chair and was sitting on the bed next to me. She put her. I even turned up the volume to help me get more into the mood, but the noises outside continued. My ignorance quickly turned to fear. Shit! What if theres a robber outside?! I wondered. This idea stuck in my mind as I dropped the vibe and ran downstairs, peering around each corner of my spacious house. My worries were not alleviated as I threw on a robe and called the police. I sat anxiously on my couch, practically biting my nails as the odd sounds outside did not seem to cease. Approximately.
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