That was when I really missed Karen the most. It was so difficult to lie in the bed where Karen and I slept, loved, and conceived each of our children... That was when I really missed Karen the most. I would lay awake and snippets of our life would pass before my mental eyes. There were good times and bad times, but they were times I spend with the love of my life and our children. Could I ever go forward, and relegate those memories to the past and have them stay there? I had somehow to go on,. I gave the black girls to the captain and told him he could free them when he got ashore. He smiled and shook my hand.That left me with two very unhappy women and their lovely young daughters, all four dressed as if for party, crinoline and lace, rich and haughty and very nearly bare-chested. My men got them to over my ship as my prize crew boarded. My boys were anxious and nearly drooling with anticipation as they rowed hard and ignored the show of tears. We had enjoyed a few female captives. As good looking as she was, I could see where boys would want to plow her little garden-in the deepest, most secret of my masturbatory fantasies, I had even thought about my being the one to do it. "What a kick that would be," I thought."What if she's already been screwing while I've just been pulling my pud. Somehow or other I'm going to have to find out about her. I'll have to find out more about Lauren, too."By the time I had taken a shower and changed clothes, it was getting dark enough to. Kay catches my eye at one point and smiles at me;otherwise she is as professional and competent as ever.I feel like death warmed up. I croak my lines; I miss acue in the anthem; I breathe in the wrong places; Ising badly. No matter; this Christmas my mind is onother things. There’ll be other Christmases to get themusic right.Now it’s 11.15 and the service is done. Everyonescuttles off home to their turkeys. Kay and I lock thechurch and drift down the lane to my place where.
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