We were in the final weeks of completing the last set of paperwork so it was all hands on deck. I called her whenever I could and sent her flowers reg...larly. I was even able once to make enough time to take her out to dinner at a five star restaurant courtesy of my boss because as he explained it to me ‘I was once young and horny like you too son.’ Well the sex that night was off the hook and the only blemish was when the condom broke. I was shocked when I realised because I had been using. I keep running my hands along your muscles as my mouth works farther down your ribcage.. I nip at your sternum and run my tongue along your inner ribcage. I retrace my tongue trail with more tiny kisses as I grab at your back with my hands. I pull back and take my hands from behind your back and look up. Your intently stareing down at me. I keep my eyes on yours as I rest my chin on my right hand resting on your tummy. My hand is idly tracing the scar from your surgery as I gaze deeply. It’s hard to look deep into myself and see things that I really don’t like. And to try to understand why I am the way I am. I guess you’ve done that for years.”“I have. It’s one of the reasons I’ve kept the journal all these years.”“I started one. Doctor Mercer asked me to do that after Thanksgiving when you broke me out of that trance I was in. I’d so convinced myself that I was an evil person who I didn’t want to live, but I couldn’t kill myself so I just kind of went through the. I never told her any of this, of course. It was becoming an obsession, but one I held in my own mind, and in my own bedroom. I savored every sight and scent and touch of her, but I never let on that they meant more to me than they should.The afternoon when I found out the world was ending, I was at a coffee shop downtown on a lunch break. Like everyone in the place, the sudden breaking coverage of the President’s press conference stunned me. Some people rushed out, others made hurried, frantic.
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