The sun comes out behind a cloud and some light spills in through the window over the door. The rest of the bar is pretty dark except for one window-s...zed square of sunlight now on the floor.“It’s something else. It’s like having a presence that only two people know about. That’s not a good way of saying it.”She looks at me.“I get it. You like the secret.” I cock my head slightly to think about that.“Maybe. But it’s more. The whole world knows who they think you are. Even with a boyfriend or a. "You're right. I don't." I couldn't tell from the look on their facewhether that ignorance made her upset, grateful or both. "How are youdoing? How was everything with Bill?" They seemed genuinelyconcerned."Weird. That's the word for it. Weird." I described how nervousPeggy was. How her house seemed like people stayed there, but didn'tlived there. How she never exactly apologised for what she did to usand excused her life. I left out how she asked about us, me and Jamesthat is. "It. "Just undress," said the butler, "I will be here to see that you behave properly." Tell me it's a joke," she pleaded, "You don't mean it, do you? Are you really saying that you are giving me to another man, and that you propose to watch?"A frisson of excitement ran through her at the thought, but she tried to suppress it."He is going to fuck your arse, so make your mind up to enjoy it." No, please don't make me," she begged, but there was a note of anticipation in her voice as she thought of. But when I looked more closely, I detected the tiniest chip along the upper rim. Hardly anything, nearly invisible, but something all the same--a flaw, and ugly now that I knew about it--a sign of my failure. I thought, oh, if I could find the missing piece I'd redeem myself, and so, after setting the damaged cup most carefully upon a flat part of the split rock which had moments before saved my life, I got down on my hands and knees and searched. I searched and searched, scouring the ground.
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