He made me so afraid of my desire to be female that iburied it until I was approaching puberty. Then the sense of wrongness,the horrible feeling that ...omehow, I was going in the wrong directionbecame overwhelming. But I kept it hidden as best as I could.Then I became a Christian. This made my conflict even stronger, as I wasinducted into a conservative branch of the faith, and felt sure that myneed for the feminine was a sin. This lead to a cycle of "binging" -getting girl clothes and trying to. My heart began to beat faster as she spoke."What time?" was all I could respond."Now, both your parents work on Monday? What time are they gone?" she continued."They leave before eight," I informed her."Good, Then I will see you around nine. Make sure the garage is open," she responded before the line went dead.I was out of bed and redressed in the blink of an eye. I then began the task of making my room presentable to visitors. As I worked I thought about Valerie and it seemed to quicken my. I’ll have to ask my husband about that later. I move my hand in my knickers, sliding a finger into my tunnel. “I’m so wet,” I purr. This performing business has become second nature to me now. The old Catherine could never have said such things with such impunity, but I am a new woman now. Well, not quite, but getting there. This I can do without shame, possibly because John is there and wants it to happen.“You want me to fuck you?” Lars asks. It’s more or less a rhetorical question.I smile and. What would she find out over there? I did not know at the time if Pete or Chris knew what had happened to me, it was so crazy I did not know what to think.The next few days went slowly. Tom repeatedly asked me what was wrong but I could not tell him. He could never understand. I know I was acting strangely but could not help myself. We tried to make love several times. Each time Tom would try to approach me I kept thinking about that Friday night. The one time we did make love I remember.
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