They found the letter an hour and a half later, after Gidget's body had been taken to the mortuary:Dear Daddy and/or Cousin Rose, Do not cry for me. I...love you both so much! I screwed up both your lives, but maybe this can make up for it. Love, GidgetThe rest of the letter was instructions. The card was a lifetime pass to Bikini Beach.July 28, 2008: Sunset (Pacific Time)Russ/Rose stood on the deck of the small boat and, as per her wishes scattered Gidget's ashes out over the Pacific. The next. I convinced the shop owner to let me plug it in for a minute, and flippedthrough the channels, seeing that it did indeed work. Happily I paid himthe money and took it home. I was sure I'd really gotten a deal, and hadstarted to wonder if I should buy more things from pawn shops.I left it on the stand when I got home, but didn't actually get around toplugging it in until that night. I'd picked up the TV Guide, and sawthat Baywatch was on, so plugged the TV in, rubbing my hands, almostdrooling. The massage table, I later learned, had an electric vibrator with several speeds and patterns. This room looked like an upscale experience. I was impressed.She had me sit at the bar while she retrieved a crystal pitcher of lemonade with thin lemon slices and large red raspberries . She poured us each a glass. My first sip was smooth. There was no doubt this was an adult beverage.“Grandma Kelly’s Lemoncello Lemonade. Do you like it?”“Best ever, I think.”She paused and looked over at the TV.. Not so bad. It has been quite relaxing really. You were right, Stef, I said. So youve given up on Tom then?,Steffan teased. I smiled and looked at him. There was something about him when he asked that that I still have not forgotten. He was smiling but he looked guarded. So…?, he asked again. Like it was actually important to him. I think that was the moment I really let go of the last of the taboos that I had. Maybe, and its Tim, I said. Then lets pretend that I am Tim since I have deprived.
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