"Gosh, this is embarrassing," Ronee blushed, still watching the film intently, however."Ahhhhh, hell, this is great, honey," Jon disagreed. "This is r...ally living. To have all this on tape would be great. You just tune in to whatever you want. Right Rex?" he laughed."That's right. It's all right there on tape," Rex replied, pleased with the reaction to his pornographic movie."I bet you've even got tapes of some of those gorgeous broads you're always bringing up here," Jon said half-jokingly.. Hours pass. I imagine them dancing, laughing, and I grow sick with anxiety. But, at the end of the evening, he brings her back home. She invites him in, and I am always there, ready to serve. I have a bottle of fine wine,chilled and ready, and a tray of hors doeuvres that I like to serve in one of my French maid outfits. Mommys dates regard me in different ways depending on their personalities. Some go out of their way to abuse and humiliate me, some just regard me with surprise and revulsion,. This love thing ... but he had received it from a number of women, and had found inside himself, the ability to return that love to those women.It never occurred to him that in the society in which he lived, a man was expected to return the love of only one woman. Had someone sat him down and told him that, he would have laughed. Why in the world would someone want to limit that incredibly wonderful feeling? He had reflected on the fact that each of the women he had come to know was different. I went to the living room, and sat down on my couch. I turned on some TV, it was some stupid run of the mill sitcom but whatever. It will do for now. As i ate that creeping feeling of........ I wanna call it despair? I mean it'a not that bad, but i can't really think of anything else to call it so let's just call it despair. That creeping feeling of despair come over me again.I have been doing this for years now, get home, eat some shitty dinner, watch some shitty shows, go to sleep, wake up.
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