I saw Jennifer smile at Tiffany in an I-told-you-so look. I sat back down in my chair and motioned for the waitress to come over and get our drinks st...rted. We ordered drinks, the ladies were given their menus. The ladies talked back and forth as they scanned the lunch menu. Tiffany’s voice was as tiny as her stature. She seemed almost like a doll, one that was almost too fragile to touch. As soon as the ladies decided on their selections, I called the waitress back over and we ordered. The. You don’t know whether or not it could kill someone, but it’s crossed your mind, and so you’ve forced yourself to hold back. After all, it’s a small price to pay to be stuck whacking it as long as everyone stays safe and secure.Except, this morning, you woke up to an unusual text message.Dear Recipient: This is a letter being sent from the Department of Dimensional Anomalies in regards to your reproductive anomaly. It has come to our attention that you received an incorrect application of your. Pinbu enathu naakai vaaikul nuzhaithu mutham koduthen appozhuthu sugamaaga irunthathu. Ippadi seithu kondu irunkum pozhuthu enathu sunni auntyin pundaiyil kuthikondu irunthathu. Naan auntyai paduka vaithen appozhuthu avargalin periya mulaigal azgaga irunthathu athil kaityai vaithu thadavi jakitai kayatinen.Aunty bra ethum anniyaamlal irunthaal avalin periya mulaigal azhagaga therinthathu pinbu enathu vaayai mulaiyil vaithu sappa aarambithen. Appozhuthu aunty enathu thalaiyil kaiyai vaithu. “Chuck? Could you come out here and put some suntan lotion on my back?” How did she know I was right there unless she could see me? Realizing there was no point in pretending I wasn't there, I responded “sure. Be right out.” As I clumsily and nervously rubbed the lotion to her back and legs, she would slowly move her body in response. That made me feel even more ashamed and uncomfortable. Although her tight, firm, darkly tanned skin was intoxicating to me, I was more preoccupied with.
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