What I want and need is to possess her soul, I think that she still loves me as a mother to her son, but my dream is that I need her to love me like a...woman loves her man.I'm in love with her and I need for her to love me too, because mother is the reason there is no longer a woman who satisfies me. When having sex, I settled for fucking like animals do, instinctively but without love. Today that is no longer enough.Young girls my age didn't interest me as I found them superficial and immature,. The one answer which I gave which was not quick, positive, and wellthought out, was for the question of why I thought I enjoyed today.The answer was, 'I don't know. It was fun.' He looked concerned withthe answer, and started to talk about the need to know oneself. Iagreed with him.Anyway, to make a long story short, he said I should get to knowmyself by keeping a diary. I said that is girly. He said if you thinkso then you should get a girly diary and keep your thoughts in it.There is nothing. "She wears a plain brown sleeveless burlap dress. It almost looks like a potato sack with holes cut out for the arms and head. She stands tall and dark, with full hips and chest, and a rounded face with a flat nose. Her curly black hair has been cut short, so the shape of her head stands out.She speaks no English.The dress scratches and chafes, so she tries not to move."I said stand up straight, nigger."He puts one hand on her back, and another just below her throat and pushes, straightening. ..I just forget my money in my bag", and began to run for the stairs as Jessica grabbed her hand to stopped her. Jessica told her "Just wait a second, we need to clarify things", I had finished putting on my boxers and said "ya, it's not what you think". Lucy said "it's okay, its none of my business anyway" in an awkward and grossed out way.Jessica caught onto Lucy's disgust and said "it's not bad, don't judge us without knowing what it's like... and it's not like I'm gonna get pregnant". Lucy.
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